Two Weeks In

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So the plan was this:

Thus far, I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve been able to get temp jobs consistently, which have lasted me enough time to pay all of my bills.  Since I rent a room from my aunt, my rent is very low, and although I had to lease a new car once I got hit from behind and lost mine, the work has been such that I could make it without a full time, regular job.

Until now.

It’s 2016, and the last time I worked was December 24th.  Though I received a call from the temp agency on Thursday of last week, it didn’t turn into a job.  I submitted an application with a different temp agency, but they haven’t found me anything, and so I sit.  And wait.

I am submitting job applications though, although I’m not entirely sure to what.  The legal field has thus far been a bust, unrewarding, and with jobs that require experience as a prerequisite, when all I have is my education.  I would like to go back into education, but I don’t have any credentials, just experience, but that experience has taught me that I don’t want to sell education anymore, just advise on why people need it.  So I look online, find jobs I might be willing to do, and send, but I’ve yet to receive a response.  Just as with my writing, I’m stuck.

I’m living off of peanut butter and cheap junk food.  As much as people hate my eating habits, they keep me from getting fat (I don’t eat American-sized portions), and they don’t cost me much money.  The Affordable Care Act is affordable for me because I have a pre-existing condition, so that keeps me alive, but again, alive to do what?  The girl I mentor brought me to meet her boyfriend, who was nice enough to buy me a meal, as I pointed out to him, the biggest meal I’m likely to eat this week.  She, and my other friends maintain my sanity, but I feel bad that I rarely have the money to do anything with them.  Another friend of mine died this week; a girl who expressed interest in me online concluded that I’m no longer interesting.  And I don’t blame her.

I’m here, but all I can hear is Ghostface Killah saying, “Sometimes I look up at the stars and analyze the sky, And ask myself was I meant to be here…

why?”

 

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