What To DO?

I simply do not know what to do anymore.  I am numb.  Defeated.

The job that I thought was in the bag didn’t come through.  The job that the temp agency offered to me I never heard back on, and it was perfect.  At least for right now.  I just paid my rent, and it brought me down to my last $825, $170 of which has to go to bills.  They are expecting me to go back to paying my student loans on February 11th.  My old doctor has sent me to collections.  Worse, my roommate is moving out, and the internet was in his name, so in order for me to have internet, I have to take that bill on too.

I do not know what to do or how to feel.  I almost feel guilty about living my life while everything is so fucked up, even though there is next to nothing I can do to solve my problem right now, at this second.

I just don’t know.  Strangely enough, though, laying it all out there, and realizing that really, it’s only slightly worse than it was before makes me feel slightly better.  So I guess I did the right thing.

It goes…