Things to talk with people about: whatever you will have common knowledge about. If they’re into movies or TV, talk about those. If they’re into comics, talk about that. If they’re from the same culture as you, talk about that. If they went to the same school, have a similar job – whatever – ask questions to find an area of commonality and talk about that thing. If it leads to talking about other things, you’re good. If not, that’s as far as the friendship goes. Those with less commonality are acquaintances; those with more “friends.” The right girl is a friend you can fuck.
Is that true?
The only thing I have in common with my best friend in LA is that we’re both film geeks. That said, I still call him my best friend. My best friend in Hawaii and I came from the same place and both lost a parent young. My best friend in Santa Barbara is a geek like me. That’s it. My best friend in San Diego is an aspiring screenwriter too, but again, that’s it. That, and we’re both single and trying to get past that.
I think there’s a “shared experience” component to this that I am not giving credence too (that, and of course the fact that friendship, like most of the rest of life, is not a mathematical formula like this, I just try to make it one so I can understand it better and know how to guide my behavior). When you do things together with a person, you can strengthen a friendship, I think. But whether or not it’s worth pursuing if there’s only one area of commonality, I dunno.