Lord, it’s so hard to stay positive.
I’m going to attribute most of this to lack of sleep. My sleep has been erratic and inconsistent since the holiday began, and that, I’m sure, has something to do with it. More immediately, however, it has to do with the maddening lack of explanation at this job, the horrible weather, and the difficulty in completing this scholarship application. I HATE doing research. I HATE the cold. I HATE how my job refuses to explain anything and lacks consistency. Add a lack of proper sleep onto that, and no chance of getting that sleep until Sunday, and I am not a happy camper. And when I’m not happy, I’m out of energy.
That’s how I feel right now.
So I wanted to write this, as negative as it is, because I thought it might help me to get my feelings out there, in the open. But I see that this doesn’t really help. These problems are all difficult to solve, and I feel so tired, I don’t know that I can.
That being the case, I think I will do some cursory research, and if it ain’t happening, call it a day. Is there an alternative activity that I like that would be better, though? Well no, and that’s part of the problem too.
*sigh* I just hate this.